May 30, 2008 at 6:11 pm (Working out, fitness)
Tags: body composition, body fat, exercise, fitness, health, muscle, weight, women's health
But which numbers are truly important?
From 6 months ago:
Weight: 138
Body fat %: 33.6
Water %: 51.2
From today:
Weight: 130 (I did weigh myself this morning and come in at 125 but I’m going on the gym’s scales sadly)
Body fat %: 24.8
Water %: 59.9
On the surface, it appears that I’ve only lost 8lbs in 6 months, which is a paltry number. A number I really hate UNTIL I work out that I’ve actually lost 14lbs of FAT and gained 6lbs of MUSCLE. Those numbers are far more telling and far more important in my book. They tell me that I’ve changed my body composition and shape. My dress sizes tell me that I’ve changed my body shape and you know what? While I would have been hugely disappointed in my small weight loss a year ago, now I realise that there are more important numbers out there.
Like the number of walking lunges I can do without looking drunk (more than 100)
Like the number of squats and presses I did on the bosu ball today without falling over (50)
Like the fact that I could get on the treadmill for 30 minutes after my strength session and not keel over like I did when I first started.
Like that fact that I now have almost 100lbs of pure lean muscle on my body instead of fat.
I like those numbers 
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May 29, 2008 at 9:54 pm (Working out, exercise)
Tags: cardio, exercise, fitness, health, motivation, women's health, workouts
(I really should come up with a better title, shouldn’t I?)
It was such a gorgeous day today that I had to get out of the office at lunch so I grabbed two of my colleagues and we went for a walk. I would have liked a bit more intensity but considering that S didn’t have her sneakers, it was still nice. We walked through the park nearby and through the streets and got back to the office 45 minutes later. Nice.
Then I got an email from N cancelling our gym session. No worries, I had my gear with me and decided to go anyway. I had to stop and get something to eat before working out though – I had lunch (a piece of pizza, yes, I know) but I was starving. So the whole way to the gym my angel and my devil were arguing.
Devil: Hmmm … I could so go for some sweet potato fries right now
Angel: No, a chicken wrap from Timothy’s will be much better – we could get a green tea with it for the caffeine boost
Devil: True, but those fries and that mayo dipping sauce is heavenly
Angel: Shut up stupid. We’re getting a wrap and that’s that
The Angel won but it was a close call. Getting off the bus gave me the option: turn right for fries, left for a wrap. I won’t lie; I hesitated! But then I remembered and (small) piece of cake I had this afternoon and I picked the wrap. I will have to indulge in those fries at some stage – they’re too darn good to avoid forever!
So, the workout. I picked today to do some cardio and also push my body by doing stuff I either haven’t done for a while or at a higher intensity. I downloaded some new workouts from iTrain and I was keen to try them out.
I started on the recumbent bike and picked an iCycle 20 minute workout and pushed myself as hard as I could during the sprints and climbs. I really need to bring my heart rate monitor to the gym – the monitor on the bike wasn’t working properly but I know I was definitely burning so it was all good.
I followed that up with 20 minutes on the rowing machine to keep the cardio up and get my upper body involved. I would have liked to have used the elliptical tonight but no matter how many machines they have, they’re always taken at 6pm so I’ll have to be quicker next time.
I wasn’t sure what I felt like doing after that – my legs were sore and my back and arms were burning. But, sticking with the theme for the night, I picked the step machine. I haven’t been on this for a long time and I knew I would hurt so I only aimed for 10 minutes at level 7.
Let me tell you, my legs are aching right now and my arms aren’t very happy either. I’ll have to get rubbing with the A535 before bed otherwise I will be useless at training tomorrow. But I’m really glad I pushed myself through it tonight, especially since my eating has not been on an A+ level. Nothing seriously bad, just not great and I’m working on it.
I’m a work in progress
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May 29, 2008 at 3:44 pm (Rants and Vents, Self-Esteem)
Tags: America's Next Top Model, body image, body shape, diet, exercise, fitness, health, perception, Self-Esteem, weight watchers, women's health
I was reading another blog earlier today. I felt a kinship with the author – she was writing about her struggles to eat clean and exercise and lead a disciplined life. I was thoroughly enjoying her writing.
Until I saw her stats.
I felt cheated. Why? Because, going by her stats, she wasn’t “struggling” (in my book) – she was tall and slim with a ridiculously low fat body %. She was clocking 5km runs all the time and loving it. I couldn’t see anywhere on her blog that she had been otherwise at any stage.
And I felt cheated because, in my mind, she’s perfect and I’m here struggling. I started feeling angry for some reason.
I had to stop and think. What gives me the right to judge who’s struggling and who’s not? Why the jealousy? Why the competitive streak?
Everyone starts from a different point and what is intolerable to one person is perfection to another. I remember when I started Weight Watchers 2 years ago or so. There was another girl starting the same night. We did our first weigh in and our assessment and my starting weight ended up being her goal weight. The weight that had made me feel like a heifer (and had prompted a doctor of all people to ask “When are you due?”) was a perfect weight for her.
Why do we compare ourselves to other people? I know that the winner of ANTM, Whitney Thompson, has said she’s a size 10-12 and I’ve read so many comments on blogs and forums about how X commenter is a size 10 and Whitney’s definitely bigger than her or smaller or whatnot. Every body carries weight differently. If you’re pear shaped (like me), you can look tiny on top but have to go up 2 sizes for your pants (thanks childbearing hips, love you too!) but if you’re more apple shaped, you often have amazing legs but have to go up a size for your tops. So technically, you can weigh the same but look completely different.
So the blogger who is perfect by my standards? She has her own struggles and I can’t judge her for that. I’m sure once I post my stats, someone else reading this will think “I’d love to have those stats – what a cow to complain!”.
Weight and body image is such a personal struggle.
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May 28, 2008 at 8:22 pm (Working out, exercise, fitness)
Tags: diet, exercise, fitness, health, nutritionist, personal training, women's health
I had a training session this evening with J and I met up with N to warm up before training. I know that the best way to go is to do my cardio after my weights but often my legs are very shaky after J’s had his way, so I tend to spend 30-45 minutes on the treadmill/elliptical/bike with N before training.
Tonight, we met up and did 30 minutes on the treadmill – Level 3, random setting, 4.0mph. It’s never an intense workout with N because we end up chatting, but always work up a sweat, so we’re probably within the fat burning range. I need to start wearing my heart rate monitor and getting more aware.
We followed that up with 10 minutes on the recumbent bike – I pushed myself hard but N didn’t really. Still, better than nothing.
Then onto training with J. My hour session featured the following today:
4 x 12 weighted lunges on the smith machine
5 x 12 leg curls – superset with
4 x 12 squats on the bosu ball
4 x 12 seated rows – superset with
4 x 12 lat pulldown
4 x 12 exercise that I don’t know the name of but involved pulling a pulley across the body and working my core and obliques! Superset with
5 x 12 tricep pull down thingies
My arms were burning at the end of that workout! Total time: 100 minutes
This is why I have a trainer. There is no frigging way I would push myself that hard and get to the stage where getting on the bosu ball to do those squats is not a struggle. When I started working out with J, my lunges looked like the work of a chronic drunk and the bosu ball was not my friend at all. My legs would shake after one set of lunges and we were only doing 3 sets and not 4. I remember having to stop after 2 sets in my first week.
I signed up for more sessions again and have decided to up my routine to 3 PT sessions one week and 2 the next. In between, I’ll get in 1 intense cardio session and 1 fat-burning cardio session at least. That takes me to 4-5 sessions a week and should be enough to push through this plateau. Not that it’s bothering me a lot, considering this was my WW goal weight and I’m pretty content with it, but I’m half-way between pant sizes and I’d love to drop to a definite size. Plus I’m loving my muscles.
I have a session on Friday and we’re taking measurements before starting the new intense workout. I’ll post the measurements (I’m not expecting them to be great considering I’ve slacked off for the last 3 weeks or so) and we’ll see what happens!
Oh, and I got 2 free sessions with a nutritionist so we’ll see what she says about my diet (I know I need to eat more protein but it’ll be interesting otherwise)
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May 28, 2008 at 11:17 am (Rants and Vents)
Tags: having it all, health, life, love, mothers, Rants and Vents, relationships, sanity
I was talking to my mother last night (love her to bits but the woman has body issues like you wouldn’t believe!) and it got me thinking. Is it really possible to have it all – the career, the social life and the sanity?
I’ve been really stressed out at work for the past two weeks – major major deadline for 10:30 this morning. Thank goodness we made it – on the dot of 10:30 mid you – but my life has been either work, eat, sleep or training for the past week or so. Plus I’ve been feeling a little low so it’s been a struggle to push through. My mother knows this.
She also knows that I broke up with M about a month ago. We’d only been together for 3 months and really, I knew I wasn’t all that into the relationship but I tried. I tried to ignore my gut and go for the the relationship with the guy who’s great on paper. Suffice to say, it didn’t work. She knows this.
But what does she ask me about?
1: How’s the gym coming along? how’s your eating?
2: How’s your “social life”? (Ie, are you seeing anyone?)
Now, any twit with half a brain could have heard my voice warbling from stress and exhaustion and know that these are not things that are on my mind right this second, especially after I’ve just ranted to you about how I had a 12 hour day and would be back at the office by 7am and the only reason I left the office was because there was nobody around to do the work I needed done. But no. She makes me feel as if the only thing that matters is if I’m seeing anyone and if I’m skinny.
So I wonder, is it really possible to have it all and stay sane? How does one switch focus from career stress to relationships to friends to exercise and still stay sane and not disappoint those around them? I know that my “me” time is very important for my sanity, but am I being selfish to turn down the occassional invite out to sleep? Is the fact that I’ve only been on 2 dates in the past month since my breakup a bad thing? Am I letting things slide and letting the side down at the same time?
Is the whole idea of having it all a fantasy?
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May 27, 2008 at 8:10 am (Nutrition, Rants and Vents)
Tags: diet, diet pills, exercise, fad diets, health, Nutrition, weight watchers
The Daily Mail has an article today “A Diet Pill that makes you feel full as soon as you start eating” (really, who’s coming up with their headlines – they’re crap!). From the article:
Scientists say they are astonished by the success of trials on tesofensine, a drug which could be on the market in three years.
By targeting part of the brain which controls appetite, it makes the user feel full soon after starting a meal and cuts the urge to snack.
They’re touting this as the latest breakthrough that could see patients lose 2 dress sizes in 6 months. Do you know what else helps you lose 2 dress sizes? Learning to eat properly and exercising!!! I’m sorry, but there is no magic pill out there, no magic diet and no quick fix.
The issue I have with fad diets, lap band surgery and diet pills is that none of these options teach you how to change your lifestyle for good and how to keep the weight off permanently. Nobody puts on all the weight necessary to become obese overnight – it’s a process of years and years of neglect and bad eating. So why do people expect to lose the weight overnight without any effort?
Okay, perhaps I’m being judgemental – after all, even at my heaviest, I was never obese. Overweight, yes; obese, no. I only had 25lbs to lose and how did I do it?
- Weight watchers (taught me about portion control and nutrition – things I have been able to keep up for 3 years, give or take a few lapses)
- Exercise
Was it easy? God no. I had to change my lifestyle and my attitude and even now, it’s a constant effort to walk away from the chocolate temptation and remember to listen to my body.
Fad diets and magic pills don’t really teach you that, in my opinion. With diet pills that curb your appetite – where do you learn about nutrition and true portion control? Where do you learn that what you put into your body needs to fuel it? Where do you learn that perhaps 3 beers every night with pizza is not good for you?
You don’t. You don’t learn anything. So when you stop taking the pills, you’ll inevitably regain all the weight, if not more. And you’re body will suffer from the yo-yo effect and you’ll be right back at square one with a much lighter wallet and no knowledge to speak of.
That sounds like magic, doesn’t it?
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May 26, 2008 at 9:36 am (fitness)
Tags: body building, exercise, feminism, fitness, health, muscles, sexy, women's health
I’ve been working out with my Personal Trainer for almost 6 months now and we’ve been focusing on strength and weights. I see him twice a week and an hour of weights and core stability training, with some ab work thrown in for good measure. Additionally, I generally do about 30 minutes of cardio on those days too.
Personally, I’m loving the strength and endurance I have from these workouts. I have muscles for the first time EVER. If I have to stop on the way home from grocery shopping, it’s usually because the handles are cutting into my hands, not because it’s too heavy. I have muscle definition in my back (I’m bringing sexy back baby!) and my arms look frigging awesome. There’s still a lot of body fat to go and my arms still do the whole batwing thing, so I’m not a perfect specimen by any means, but I’m getting there.
The other day though, my VERY femininist roommate was looking at a photo of a high-school friend of hers on Facebook and suddenly exclaimed “Ewwww”. I looked over, expecting a medical photo or something equally gross and instead saw a photo of a very toned and muscular girl, flexing her arms. Now, she wasn’t body-builder type muscular, just toned and VERY fit.
My roommate was disgusted. She was all over how unfeminine it is and not sexy. I tried to understand what the issue was – was it the pose (arms flexed to show off the biceps) or was it the fact that she was muscular to start with. My roomie couldn’t explain other than to say it’s just not right, not feminine.
So I wonder. Is strength considered a masculine trait and best left to the men? Are women supposed to be weak and lithe, without any muscular structure?
Personally, I find female body builders unattractive (heck, I find body builders in general unattractive) because I think they work to eradicate all the feminine “stuff” – in their aim to get a ridiculously low body fat percentage, they lose their breasts and, eventually, in my opinion, become unisex.
But I think a strong, toned woman is sexy. No, scratch that. I find a strong, toned person – male or female – sexy. What do you think?
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May 25, 2008 at 3:01 pm (exercise)
Tags: depression, exercise, fitness, health, spring, sunshine, walking, women's health
Today is an absolutely GORGEOUS day – sunny and warm with a few small clouds. It’s proper spring weather. I love it.
I woke up pretty early this morning (the joys of not having a blind on my window) and decided that I am sick of sitting indoors or staying indoors exercising. Darn it, it’s a beautiful day – I should be outside. I also resolved to get a frigging black-out blind for my window, so I would have to spend some time indoors at the mall BUT …
Instead of taking the subway, I walked. I walked all the way down Yonge Street to College and went to the Eaton Centre. It took me a good hour and a half (I stopped at Bloor and had a muffin at Tim Horton’s and wandered along Bloor for a little bit. It wasn’t an intense walk but it got me moving for that amount of time and enjoying the sunshine at the same time. It was fantastic. I really need to do that more often. It’s great to be in the gym but it’s better for the mind, body and soul to be outside.
Next step: move a strength workout outside. I think I might buy a skipping rope next pay-day and get skipping at the park outside my apartment block.
After feeling so down for the last 3 days and cancelling plans last night (yeah, I know, pathetic!), I finally feel better and lighter today. Although I’m tired now and kinda need a nap BUT I do feel better.
Yay to exercise and sunshine and lightness.
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May 23, 2008 at 10:22 pm (Rants and Vents, Self-Esteem)
Tags: body image, diet, exercise, fitness, health, Liz Jones, Self-Esteem, the daily mail, women's health
Liz Jones wrote a column in the Daily Mail last month that made me think “Wow, so freaking true”. The article was titled Super-skinny legs are sick not sexy but they are worryingly becoming the norm for young women. Okay, not the most enticing headline (I personally would have stuck with “Super-skiny legs – sick, not sexy” but that’s just me) but an article after my own heart.
As she writes:
These super-skinny legs are not attractive, or remotely sexy, but you can rest assured their owners always make sure their pins (and never has a word been so apt) are on display.
It is as if they were saying: “I deny myself every day to obtain legs like these. They prove how committed I am to fame, to being a fashion victim. I have starved and exercised my way to the top – and I am bloody well going to stay here.”
Never mind that two young Brazilian models died from anorexia-linked illnesses. Never mind that pro-anorexia websites – which display pictures of emaciated celebrities and models as “thinspiration” – have mushroomed.
Never mind that French MPs are to back a new law to bar the media from promoting anorexia; judges may punish those responsible for a magazine photo of a model whose “thinness altered her health”.
In an increasingly fat-afraid world, super-skinny is still (or more than ever) the ideal and normal is no longer applicable. In fact, what is normal? When a plus-size model like Whitney Thompson from America’s Next Top Model can be a size 10-12, what is a normal size?
Liz Jones writes:
One 26-year-old anorexic told me that, aged eight, she looked at her chubby thighs and wondered why they were “all joined together, which didn’t seem right”. She spent the next ten years in and out of eating disorder clinics as she fought to “get the triangle”.
The thighs “joined together” is supposed to be right – it’s freaking normal people and we’re losing sight of that ideal. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not advocating unhealthiness or obesity etc – I’m advocating a return to the ideal of normal. The ideal of a body that is as it’s designed to be. A body that is healthy and strong and one that doesn’t take deprivation and denial to be achieved.
Since I started my exercise adventure in earnest when I moved here in October, I’ve been fighting against the temptation to look at my body and disapprove. There are women at work who’s thighs have never met and probably need an introduction (“Left thigh, meet right thigh. You guys should hang out.”) and despite all my confidence and love of my body in the past, I find myself envying them.
And then I stop myself. I stop the disapproval and I make myself stand in front my bedroom mirror naked and appreciate my body. My body is stronger than it’s ever been. It’s healthier than it’s ever been. I have muscles that allow me to carry my groceries home without stopping for breath. I have lungs that are stronger despite my asthma and bronchiectisus (who the hell knows how to spell that anyway?) and I have more energy than ever before.
Damn, I’m a fine specimen of a woman and who cares if my thighs are good friends?
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May 22, 2008 at 9:08 pm (Rants and Vents, Self-Esteem)
Tags: control, depression, diet, food, lack of motivation, motivation, popcorn, snacking
I bailed on the gym tonight.
Why?
I don’t know. I really don’t. I feel like crap today. Just really low and unmotivated and blegh.
Dinner was crap food – two wholewheat tortillas with light cream cheese, followed by a small bowl of light oven fries. Yes, you read right. Fries. I ate them. I enjoyed them. But were they good for me? Not by a long shot.
I really need to pull myself out of this hole before it gets too deep and I need help. I’ve done this before. I’ve fallen and gotten up and I WILL not let this shit get to me.
So I found myself opening a bag of microwave popcorn. Now this breaks the rules in 2 ways:
- Not beneficial for me
- AFTER 8pm snacking = BANNED.
I stopped. I made myself stop and think. I walked away.
I feel proud of myself.
It’s a small step, I know, but it’s something. Something that I took control over and didn’t fuck up.
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I'm a twenty-something Aussie living in Canada, moving to New Zealand and trying to be somewhat strong and healthy while I navigate the perils of a long-distance relationship, freelancing and planning a long-distance wedding without losing my mind. Welcome!
