It’s a small world after all (or Gemfit has no idea what to call this post)

The last week has been amazing.  I’m really not sure how to write about this without sounding insanely cheesy and soppy and ridiculous.

I’ve met someone amazing. Yes, it’s the guy who was coming to visit. It’s one of those things that seems crazy and insane and movie-like and it never happens in real life. But it has. We started chatting about 6 weeks ago or so (maybe a little longer) but we technically only met a week ago and yet this feels right.

BUT (and there is a big BUT):

He lives in New Zealand. I USED to live on that side of the world but now I’m an ocean and a continent away. And my father finds this hilarious.

Seriously, he started laughing when I told him. Because actually, Boy and I both grew up in South Africa and went to the same school (3 years apart though), both left the country at around the same time (me to Australia and him to the UK then New Zealand) and yet we’ve connected 13 years later in Toronto. And this takes the whole week from “too good to be true” to “making life a challenge”.

And I don’t want to jinx anything but this is beyond. Beyond everything. He was staying at a hotel for the first few nights (see, I’m not insane!) but quickly moved into mine and has been there since. He is super romantic (again, movie-like) and while I’m trying super hard not to believe that this is so good, it’s amazing. And I know this is the honeymoon period and that as soon as he leaves, things are going to be a challenge.

He was already thinking about moving over here before we met and he’s making it a bit more of a focus now. Yes, it’s only been a week. But if anyone knows anyone in Canada looking for an awesome training guy/motivational dude/ manager, drop me a line ;)

I know it’s fast and I know it’s crazy – you don’t have to tell me. At heart, I’m a committment-phobe (seriously, the last guy who tried to use the “L” word had me running a mile – there’s a story there though), so the intensity of emotions right now is a little freaky. The fact that we’re working out long-distance arrangements and trips and whatnot already is freaky. But like I said, this feels more right than anything ever has. Maybe I’ve just been dating the wrong guys but every other relationship (not that there’ve been many) have started with one feeling a ton more than the other – the balance being more 70-30 than 50-50. This is feeling more 50-50 than anything else. And it’s amazing.

And I know I’ve used the word “amazing” about 50 million times so far, I make no apologies.

One thing that does amaze me: despite eating out tons since he arrived, I’ve managed to lose 4 lbs. Puzzled, but not complaining!

So that’s where I’ve been. :)

A quick Friday update

Hey all,
Just a quick check in to let you know I’m alive and well (albeit super tired) – just been busy with stuff (good stuff though) and will probably be offline for a week or so. :)

Weekend recap (or hiking, drinking and eating)

I had a brilliant weekend. A perfect weekend in fact.

The weather was glorious and sunny and Spring like. The sun came out on Friday morning and stayed there all weekend. It made me smile :)

Saturday morning saw me on a hike with a couple of friends and meet market adventures. We went out on the Niagara Escarpment toward Hamilton and hiked around Spencer’s Gorge and Webster Falls. I went on the same hike last year in the summer and the it was great – a little challenging but super fun. The guide this time was different and he picked a very easy route which didn’t take us along the river bed and was not nearly as challenging or breathtaking as before. I was a little disappointed but still had fun.

I got back into my photography as well. The area is still really “winter like” in the lack of foliage and the dead trees around. It was perfect for black and white photography and I had a ball – I turned my little point and shoot to black and white and focused on the shapes and textures. I could have taken a million more shots and I may have to go back sometime with a better camera. I’ll put some shots up when I get home tonight. I loved it.

Saturday night was a housewarming party for a work friend. I went with a bunch of girls and probably drank a little too much but hey, whatever. We all stayed over at one girl’s place and went for brunch on Sunday and then stayed in to watch movies (even though it was a lovely day).

We did make it out for a bit and I got some yummy loose-leaf teas and some really pretty paper that I’m planning on framing for my apartment. I’m also thinking of getting some of the photos from the weekend printed out and framed. I need some photography around me. I’m looking to get a new camera – not a SLR because I can’t justify spending the money I’d need to spend to get what I’d want, but an advanced point and shoot that gives me plenty of control and zoom. My parents have agreed to give it to me for my birthday/gift from home when they visit (which also gets me away from the clothing-that-doesn’t-fit-as-gift) and I’m hoping to get it within the next week or so for my trip to Vancouver.

On the weight front, I wasn’t too bad with eating etc but I still managed to GAIN 2 pounds this week according to my scale. I’m hoping it’s water weight so I’ll weigh in again tomorrow. Ugh. I feel like a sloth. But otherwise, life is good.

I have an online friend arriving in town on Wednesday and we’re heading out for dinner Wednesday night. I told him to stay in a hotel by the way, if you’re wondering. This week should be interesting. I don’t think we’ll have trouble getting along but you never know in person – people are different online and over the phone (done the internet dating thing for a while and trust me, people are different!) so I’m trying not to expect too much. I’ll report in Thursday :)

Tonight I have training but then I’m going out with a friend for dinner at a lovely French restaurant and I’m not sure how much sticking-to-the-diet will be going on. It is Oyster Night after all!

State of mind

My state of mind recently has been more on the “this is pointless” side of things than the “I’m loving this healthy lifestyle” side.

I’ve been working out 2-3 times a week but that’s a drop from my usual 4-5 times. I’m not enjoying my cardio workouts as much so I haven’t been pushing myself nearly as hard as I should. I’ve been mindlessly eating and lazy generally.

Everyone goes through this lack of motivation thing – whether you’ve got 50 pounds to lose or 5; whether you’re maintaining or not. This lifestyle takes effort and it’s not something you can start and finish. That’s a diet and we don’t do that. We’re all about making this a lifestyle and achieveble and all that jazz.

So what do you do when your motivation wanes?

This past week I’ve thought about how I feel at the moment vs. how I feel when I’m being healthy:

  • I have more energy when I’m exercising and eating right
  • I’m happier when I’m eating better.
  • I feel more in control.
  • I look better (there, I said it)

And, sadly, the last one is probably the most motivating at the moment (followed closely by the rest). But I’ve learnt from past experiences that allowing my motivation to be controlled by my appearance doesn’t actually keep me motivated AT ALL. That’s when my motivation wanes the quickest because you never seen results quickly. This is why all the articles in those stupid magazines that focus on appearance never work – very few people see external results immediately and so their motivation wanes.

So I need to focus on the first two points – energy and mood. They affect me in every facet of my life. Because of that, it’s something I can definitely quantify and qualify when it comes to ’success’.

So my workouts for this coming week:

  • Training session tonight (1.5 hrs including warm up)
  • Possible workout tomorrow (maybe 1hr)
  • Hike on Saturday (it’s only about 5kms but pretty steep at times)
  • Rest on Sunday
  • Training Monday
  • Cardio Tuesday
  • Friend comes in for a visit Wednesday so rest
  • Training Thursday

On that note though, I need some music recommendations – my playlist is getting a little old and I’m going to update it. What gets your heart pumping? Hit me up in the comments for some tunes!

You’d think I’d clue in by now

Every so often, I feel horribly bloated and lazy and am convinced I’ve gained a million pounds and therefore am a blob.

I stare at myself in the mirror and alternate between “nope, still looking good” and “omg, you are a heifer”

I crave salty food and stuff chocolate into my gob like it’s going out of fashion even though I’m not actually enjoying it.

And every time this happens, I get a shock until I realise that it’s happening EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH.

And you’d think I’d clue in by now!

It’s usually the PMT aspect – so I’m good to go once TOM starts but the week before … god help us all. And thus the light bulb is illuminated, the bell has *dinged* and the puzzle pieces have all fallen into place.

Last week was that week. That no-good day? Last week. The mini depression because of the weather? Last week. The lack of working out? Last week. The junk food inhalation? Also, (say it with me) last week.

So this week, Aunt Flo is in town but I’m back to feeling normal. No intense chocolate stuffing, no bloating, no depression.

Can someone slap me on the side of the head next month?

DILEMMA – a poll!

Okay, so there’s this guy. It’s a long story but we’ve been chatting online for a while, turns out we have common background (went to the same school way back when) and friends in common. He’s going to be in my town next week and needs a place to stay. Dilemma – would you offer your couch or make him stay in a hotel? Normally, I’d trust my instincts but my instincts seem to be on strike. I’m torn – be spontaneous or cautious?

Sunshine on a rainy day

This is one of my favourite songs by Australian artist Christina Anu and everytime I hear it, it makes me happy.

My last few weeks have been up and down and I’ve been struggling a bit at times. But doesn’t everyone? It’s how you deal wtih the ups and downs that define you. It’s a case of realising that there are boths ups and downs – life is not all ups or all downs. Sometimes it seems that way though (esp. with the downs) but sometimes it helps to remember that life is never perfect and sometimes, that’s okay.

After all the snow last week, the sun came out (literally and figuratively) on Thursday. I decided to work from home after a disasterously annoying and frustrating day on Wednesday. I also decided not to be too hard on myself. I woke up and saw the sun.

My desk at home faces a window and I had the sun streaming in all day. I worked, I cleaned, I napped, I went to the gym, I worked some more. I barely spoke to anyone during the day. I capped the night off with a super fun Passover seder.

Friday was a holiday so I again stayed in. I cleaned, I put up some photos on the walls (only after 7 months of living there!) and I admired my handiwork.

I bought a bath mat so I could avoid the debacle of Wednesday morning and never slip while getting into the shower again (my bruise is healing nicely thanks).

I discovered a new recipe that I LOVE and will share tomorrow.

Lather, rinse, repeat for Saturday and Sunday, with the exception of doing some work on Sunday afternoon. But all in all, 4 days of me time. I loved it. The sun was out the whole time. I worked out once and relaxed the rest of the time.

Now, except for the insomnia I had last night (I’m zonked out today), life is good. Everything is doable.

I’m on a semi-detox from today. Two weeks no chips or chocolate. I need to get back on the wagon with my eating and stop using food as a crutch – stop justifying a snack as a reward for a nebulous something. The downward spiral feeling of the last few weeks has seen me falling back on rewarding myself with food and it’s not good because I’m worth more than that.

So the sun is out. There’s a vacation to Vancouver on the horizon (any tips anyone?) and I’m doin’ good.

A terrible, no good, horrible, very bad day

Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t great. And I’m annoyed and angry and seething. Isn’t seething such a good word? I almost feel like that’s what my annoyance and anger sounds like … seeeeeeetttttthhhh. Picture steam coming out of my ears.

My day:

5am – text from my brother in Melbourne who never remembers that he’s 14 hours ahead of me.

6:30 am – slipped getting into the shower, grabbed the shower curtain and knocked over my makeup. Also, am now the proud owner of a massive bruise the size of Africa. And possibly the same shape.

8:30am – printer jam at work and boss is swearing at said printer. Good moods are not present in the office.

9:00am – discover that a freelancer I hired submitted work done completely incorrectly and I don’t have time to send it back. So guess who’s redoing it?And that’s what I spent my day doing and avoiding and then doing some more.

4:00pm – discover that my police check paperwork that I sent through a month ago has been returned to me because they didn’t receive the payment. This is technically my father’s fault because I sent him all the paperwork to send in with a cheque (it needed to be Australian and my cheques are Canadian) and he sent the stuff in, minus the cheque. He remembered the next day and sent the cheque separately but the paperwork still got sent back to me. So I had to run to the FedEx office and send it all back to my dad (yay to spending $70 on that AGAIN) and plead with him to remember to send the chque WITH it this time. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s sabotaging my emigration plans. Just sets me back another month. Hence the seeething.

My dad feels bad about it and I’m trying to tell him that it’s not entirely his fault. Really, it is a bit but I don’t want him to feel terrible. But I’m seething. And annoyed. And upset.

And the Passover Seder I went to tonight? Could have been a normal meal for all the ‘ritual’ they followed. Made me miss my family more. We may not be completely and utterly observant but at least we care about the important stuff. This was pathetic.

And I’m sorry for the rant and vent and whining. I’m not normally like this but tonight I needed to get this all out without trying to make someone else feel okay or minimizing my own stuff because someone else is going through worse. I’ll get over it. I’ll work through it. But tonight I needed to yell and scream and stamp my feet.

Edited to add: And now I have a zit on my cheek to top it all off. What a day, huh?

Self-sabotage and a lack of appetite

One of the left-overs from being sick the other week is my weird appetite. Except in the morning, I don’t get hungry. But I know I need food so I eat. And because I’m not technically hungry, I’m not registering as full so I’m eating beyond what I need. And I’m eating crap. Like chips and popcorn in place of dinner because I have no craving for dinner.

It’s not good. Not good at all.

I’m forgetting what hunger or thirst feels like, what saiety feels like. And I’m gaining weight – just in time for summer!

It’s freaking me out. I feel out of step with my body and it’s weird. I’m not working out as much, I’m eating more than usual and my concentration is shot.

I need to get back on track. No, I need to find those tracks again first to get back on track. I’m so off track, I’m on another line altogether.

So, tasks this week:

  1. Journal my food to be aware.
  2. Plan my meals and stick to them.
  3. Workout!!!
  4. Drink more water, even if I don’t think I’m thirsty. Just do it.
  5. Realize that the 5 lbs I’ve gained will drop off once I get back on track and life will be back to normal.

Ugh.

Plus I almost fell getting in the shower this morning and almost missed my bus stop after falling asleep on the bus. What a frigging day.

Tuesday Tucker

A possibly new feature if I can be bothered!

As I mentioned in my last post, I christened a new slow cooker yesterday and I did it with a new recipe. Which I love and therefore feel the need to share.

Salsa Chicken

4 chicken breasts
2 jars of medium or hot salsa (I used medium but next time I might use 1 hot and 1 medium)
1 can of black beans
1 can of sweet corn

Pour the salsa, beans and corn into the slow cooker. Mix well.

Add the chicken breasts and make sure they’re completely covered with the liquid.

Set to cook on LOW for 8-10 hours.

Voila – come home to a tasty, healthy dish that you can eat as is or serve over rice or with tortillas. So yummy and so easy. It’s a pretty clean-eating meal, depending on how you serve it.

I now have lunch today and 2 servings in the freezer. I’m also cooking a beef stew in the slow-cooker today which should give me plenty of leftovers for the rest of the week.

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