Work emails – the bane of my existence
When it comes to work-related emails (and sometimes personal emails too), I have a love-hate relationship with my screen. There are some things that I expect to be self-evident when it comes to emails and general work correspondence. I know I’m not the only one who notices badly placed apostrophes and whatnot, but I can forgive those because people sometimes honestly are confused. They weren’t taught the difference or English is not their first language and I’ll be the first to admit that it can be confusing if you don’t understand the rules.
But a few of my pet peeves in work related emails:
- Using multiple exclamation points and question marks – an example from an email I got this morning “Any luck finding in-house talent??” What’s the point of the multiple question marks people? Does it make the question more important? Are you shouting it to me? No, you’re just annoying me
- Using all-caps and underlining – STOP SHOUTING AT ME. I’m not deaf and nor am I stupid. You, on the other hand, I’m not so sure about.
- Being overly familiar. There’s a point in correspondence where the tone naturally changes from the formal we’ve-never-met-and-this-is-all-business to we’re-emailing-five-times-a-day but you need to read the tone and respond to it. When I open an email with “I hope this email finds you well”, I don’t need to hear about your boozy weekend thankyouverymuch. At the same time, don’t respond to a breezy informal email with something overly formal – the relationship immediately gets a little weird then.
- But you do need to respond to emails! If I ask you a question, I expect a response. Not in three days time; today. Sending an email with time sensitive questions that seems to go into the void bugs the living daylights out of me. If you’re waiting on other people to let you know, tell me. Don’t leave me hanging because then my boss asks me and I look like an idiot. If you tell me that email is your preferred method of correspondence, then use it to correspond.
Okay, so there are my top 4 – anything you’d like to add?
Taking a leap of faith
Life is about leaps of faith. I’m not talking about religion although that can play a part in a lot of people’s leaps. There is never a guarantee when it comes to making life choices and decisions. Nobody is standing there with a written guarantee and a warranty promising you definite happiness if you take X path. There is no light bulb moment in my experience.
Instead, it’s a candle moment. The flame starts up, the idea takes hold and then you have to trust that it will light the way. (Wow, corny, sorry). But it’s the best metaphor I can think of at this early hour.
My life over the past three years has been all about leaps of faith. Three years ago, my father got 2 tickets to the Tony Robbins seminar in Sydney and he gave them to my brother and me. It was technically mainly for my brother at the time since he was going through strain at work and my father felt he needed a push. I was just the lucky recipient of my father not wanting to favour either child. Little did he know what he was setting in motion.
That weekend (after walking over hot coals – try it, it’s liberating!) I lit the candle with the idea of moving overseas within the year. I did it. I had no idea if it would work or not; if I’d end up being here for 6 months or 6 years or 60 years, but I did it. And it’s been amazing.
Three months ago, I took another leap of fair and I starting chatting with my man-to-be. I went into the exchange thinking that it could, at best, be fun to show someone around my town, but I ended up with a fiance and a new direction in life. I closed my eyes and took a leap and here I am.
And now I’m thinking about another leap of faith. I’m thinking considering pondering the idea of re-igniting my writing passion and photography passion and trying to, you know, maybe get published somehow somewhere. I’m thinking pondering the idea of jumping into the whole “I’m a writer” market.
It’s a little scary, this considering pondering thinking I’m doing. I know that my skills are rusty, having been behind the desk managing other writers and projects for five years. I put my passions on the back burner for a different passion, a passion which grew from an accidental job and while I still really generally on good days like my job, I want to re-ignite the old passions before they rust away completely.
So I’m closing my eyes once again and leaping. I’ll probably set up a new blog relating to it but I’ll link to it so any interested people can join the journey. What’s your leap of faith?
Random things that make me happy
- Pretty underwear – it may not be seen but I’m sorry, I challenge anyone not to feel happy with pink striped underwear
- Sunny days
- Wearing a twirly skirt that makes me feel like a 5 year old
- Meetings in the courtyard, enjoying the sunshine (see #2)
- Or having no meetings at all and actually getting work done
- Writing blog posts as a way to procrastinate and still feel productive
What makes you happy on this lovely Summer day?
Why I think medication is sometimes a copout
Disclaimer: I suffered from depression a few years back and got myself out of the hole with the help of some little pills. So I’m not a Scientologist or anything – just frustrated.
I know first-hand that medication for depression and other afflictions is useful. I firmly believe that I would not have come out of my depression without the medication I was on, however strong it was and difficult to get off. However, I knew from the start that it was only one prong in the attack on my depression; that the lack of emotions was useful when the only thing you can feel is sad, but not useful to actually live life; that I needed to address the issues I had and find ways to deal with them on a day to day basis without the help of medication.
I don’t judge that some people need help. I don’t think that asking for help is weak – in fact, I think it’s strong.
My issue is with the idea that the fake lack of emotions is the new normal. That feeling anything is wrong. That normal fluctuations in mood is wrong and should be avoided like the plague. Nobody is happy 24/7 and I’m not entirely sure when that became the new normal that nobody can achieve. I would hate not to feel at all – not to feel extreme joy or sadness. Not to know what makes me emotional or what makes me laugh. Because in so many ways, that’s what a lot of people seem to use medication for – to produce an artificial stability where nothing is awesome or terrible.
I have a friend who seems to think that any kind of emotion or mood is automatically bad. It’s true that she has been diagnosed as bipolar and I don’t have issue with that at all. Yes, she probably will need medication all her life to regulate the chemicals in her brain but it upsets me that her therapist has conditioned her to think that every sign of emotion or mood swing is automatically a sign of a chemical imbalance and must be regulated with more medications. She’s so scared of emotions that every little thing she experiences is seen through the eyes of fear.
Last week she graduated from a course that has taken her many years to complete. It was naturally a very emotional time for her. It was the culmination of so many years of hard work and also a sign that she was moving forward in many ways. In my opinion, it’s natural to feel a let-down or slight apprehension after such a huge occasion. I know that I felt a little scared and sad after I graduated – it’s the unknown approaching. It’s the idea that you’re no longer studying and you have to find a new purpose and go out into the world. Completely natural.
But according to her therapist, this reaction (minor as it was) needed to be medicated away and now she’s apparently “back to normal” – in other words, not feeling a thing. And tell me, how is that good? Emotions and feelings create the impetus for change in life in so many ways – identifying that work depresses you could lead you to finding a new job. But if you never allow yourself to feel happy or unhappy, then how do you change anything?
I understand that people with bipolar experience things more intensely than everyone else but surely the solution should be to regulate but still allow emotions to emerge?
I feel frustrated with her and for her. With her because her therapist has created this world where emotions aren’t to be trusted so she questions everything I do based on my gut and my feelings. She lives in a world that doesn’t understand how I can close my eyes and take a leap of faith. She lives in a world where that is seen as dangerous and to be avoided.
I live in a world where I’ll talk to strangers and maybe make a friend; where I’ll meet someone who might change my life in an instant and I’ll go with it. I live in a world where I question things and fear things and get happy and sad and I survive. I’ve learnt how to deal with myself in different circumstances. I’ve learnt that I’m stronger than I thought, that my body and mind will not let me down. I live in a harsh world too – with sadness and humiliation and tears at times but I wouldn’t trade it for her world.
I firmly believe that life should be empowering.
Congrats! Now make yourself better
I’ve begun my foray into the big wide world of BaB – Being a Bride and let me say, nobody told me how frigging scary this place is.
You know those girls who planned out their weddings from the age of 5? The ones who stop to look at engagement rings and wedding dresses at any time and who know exactly what they want? The ones who can break down an engagement ring to carat and cut and setting in under 2 minutes?
Yeah, not me.
I’ve never stopped to look at wedding dresses just because. I had no idea about rings and carats and cut. I still don’t. I bought my first wedding magazines on the weekend and I changed my status on facebook. Which brings me to the topic:
Did you know that, as a bride-to-be, your primary concern is not about having a happy marriage or a fun celebration at the wedding – it’s about the size of your thighs! Silly me, I thought because I’d found happiness and a guy who loves me for who I am and what I look like, I could be happy. Silly, silly me.
No, according to every ad I see on facebook (I’ve recently changed computers and haven’t installed all my adblockers yet), I should be losing weight, toning up my trouble spots, clearing my skin and generally, improving myself immediately. I mean, I obviously conned him into proposing somehow but now I gotta make myself over STAT so he doesn’t run screaming from the altar.
It enough to turn anyone into a bumbling fool, mumbling about diets and bootcamps and facial treatments. I can only hope that I’m strong enough to resist. One thing is for sure: I won’t be making my bridesmaids go through this!
An eventful vacation
I may not have mentioned it but I’m in San Francisco at the moment on another short vacation, meeting up with Lee. It was my light at the end of the tunnel when we said goodbye in Vancouver last month. It’s been a weird 3.5 weeks – at times it felt like time would never pass but then again, talking everyday meant that it didn’t feel like there was insane distance. I heart Skype.
I landed in town on Friday night and by the time we got back to the hotel, it was about 11:30. Lee had a few birthday surprises planned for me and, since he’s not a patient person, he decided that he couldn’t wait until Tuesday to give them to me. So, in order:
1. He took a song from my iTunes “recently played” list and created a musci video to it, complete with lip-synching and boy band hilarity. Since I didn’t realize that someone would be paying attention to what I was listening to, I am not ashamed that I was listening to Jesse McCartney’s Beautiful Soul. Okay, only slightly ashamed.
2. Then he turned to the computer on the desk and told me that it was my birthday present – the boy bought me a laptop! Slightly selfish of him too – I’m a PC user and he’s definitely a Mac user, so he converted me to a MacBook user. I’m slowly learning my way around it and I may indeed become a fanboy. Only slightly. I promise.
But this was not the highlight. What, you say? There’s more? How is this possible? Wait for it…
3. I do think he tried to wait a bit but nerves/impatience got the better of him … he pulled out a box from his bag, got down on one knee and voila … proposed! Of course, I said yes, we’re engaged and OMG. I know it’s really quick but it really feels right. o what if we don’t actually live in the same country yet – we’re working on moving. And so what if it’s only been 6 weeks … it feels right.
Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to be running off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. My mother would officially kill me. After his mother probably. But i thought I’d share the news with you guys.
I'm a twenty-something Aussie who was living in Canada and has now moved to New Zealand and trying to be somewhat strong and healthy while I navigate the perils of living with my Boy, freelancing and planning a long-distance wedding without losing my mind. Welcome!
