Staying on course

It’s funny, this whole undoing my life here business. When I moved over here almost two years ago, I had a ton of support helping me move and I had the benefit my my parents’ garage to store anything I wasn’t prepared to take with me. I still brought over a suitcase, a big backpack and four boxes of clothes and linens. The last time I was back there at the beginning of the year, I brought back a bunch of extra things too. The other thing that made things easier was that once my lease ended at my apartment, I just shifted to my old room at my parents’ house.

This time it’s just me. Once I give notice at my apartment, that’s it. I have to be out by the end of September, no lee-way. I have to pack up my life here without any help – I mean, I have friends but no family. Friends are good but I look around my apartment and I feel a little panicked, a little bewildered at where the heck to start. I have all my furniture to get rid of, all my clothes to sort through and pack up, all my books to read and sort through and pack. I have to decide which items I can pack up/sell now and which have to wait until closer to my departure. I have work to hand over. I have work to line up. I have a life to undo and I feel a little untethered.

The other thing is that it’s 3 months to go. Sounds like a lot of time but at the same time it sounds like it’s around the corner. I feel like I’m a little bit in limbo, if that makes sense. I’m trying not to wish time away because there’s a lot I want to see and do in the next 3 months – go to Montreal, Quebec City among others – but at the same time, I want to be there already. I want to start the next stage of my life NOW. I’m impatient that way. And I can’t start it yet. I’m destined to spend 3 months in an iChat relationship and then packing up my life here alone. And that seriously sucks.

So I need a plan. I need a spreadsheet breaking everything down. I need to DO something to put myself back in control.