On the power of words

It’s amazing how a simple phrase can rob all enjoyment from a treat or occassion. The phrase itself doesn’t have to be exactly the same, but the idea always is.

You don’t really want that garbage, do you?

You don’t plan on eating all of that, do you?

The moment it comes out of my mother’s mouth, I turn into a kid again and my mood drops. No matter how much I’m looking forward to a treat (in the first case, ice-cream) and have planned for it and salivated, the moment she opens her mouth, I feel terrible. I feel like a pig. And the same thing happens with the second phrase – it doesn’t have to actually be a lot of food (this was in response to a subway tuna wrap after she had cut hers in half and wrapped half up) or ‘bad’ food at all – just what she determines to be a full meal. Because women watching their weight should never eat a full, healthy meal. That obviously goes against all dieting folklore.

Watching your weight obviously means you should suffer an deprive yourself, according to her world. And this behaviour is what makes me want to rebel. I feel like eating 10 donuts just to spite her and then I stop and realise that that’s the stupidest idea ever. What are those 10 donuts going to do to her? Me, they’ll affect – I’ll be ever so slightly ill after that much sugar. She’ll just say I told you so. So I don’t have the donuts or the chocolate or the ‘rebellious’ foods but I still need to figure out how not to be affected by her words.

Any suggestions?

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3 thoughts on “On the power of words

  1. I found when I started my “fitness journey” about 3 years ago that people are either an obstacle or a source of motivation. It was amazing to me how negative many individuals became when I started losing weight and feeling good about myself. I had to become stronger mentally to get past that uncomfortable hurdle. With some I would separate myself from completely, others like family members would get direct responses from me asking for clarification to the snide comment. Fortunately this did help for me, but everyday it is a challenge but well worth it. Keep up the good job and hold your head high as you achieve your goals! 🙂 Nice post!

  2. really powerful post and Im not sure what *I* do will help because I really think it’s so personal but I always tell myself ITS NOT ABOUT ME.

    when people criticize my choices (ITS NOT ABOUT ME. THIS IS THEIR DEAL THAT FOR SOME REASON THEY EVEN CARE)

    or assure me my endeavors are going to fail (ITS NOT ABOUT ME. THERE’S SOMETHING THEY ARE AFRAID TO TRY IN CASE THEY FAIL).

    that kind of thing.

    shoot and half the time it might really BE ABOUT ME—-but I still let it roll off my back 🙂

  3. Welcome to the HYC!

    Although I feel bad that you have this situation to deal with, I think it’s something we all have to think about. There will always be people that, although meaning well, make you seem like you’re not doing enough. It can really throw you off your course.

    I really don’t have to deal with that much. Besides my hubby, I haven’t told people that I see day to day what I’m doing (working out and trying to lose weight). I’m not so good with that stuff though. I’m usually blunt about it and tell them that I’m doing my own thing and don’t need help or explain how bad that makes me feel and ask if they can stop. But, I’m just like that with things that hurt after years of internalizing and being miserable. I’m kind of a jerk I guess, but you may want to talk with her about it. The key is that you know your mom better than anyone…so you know what she can or cannot handle. Hopefully you can resolve this with her or learn to let it go.

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