“So this is what cabin fever feels like …”

It’s snowing like crazy outside so I’m working from home. Or rather, I’m musing about random things and little bit of work stuff. I find quiet days allow me to think about a lot of “stuff” – you know, that stuff that being busy usually pushes out of your head. So this post will probably have absolutely no point at all. Just a warning.

Last night I played volleyball for the first time and, as predicted, I sucked. This is why I hate team sports. And I have another 9 weeks of it to feel like shite. I keep forgetting that the rest of the team have been playing for at least 3 seasons already so they know how to play. The last time I probably played volleyball was in the phys ed. at school and I probably found a reason to skip that class. So, essentially, I’ve never played. And I forget that and I feel initimidated and then stupid for not being able to serve or actually make contact with a ball.  I would just not go back but this is the work league so somone would come by my office and pick me up – it’s a bit difficult to avoid that. Oh well, here’s to getting better?

After the game last night, a few of us stayed around for dinner and a drink. One of my friends – love her, lovely girl – was really grating on me. She just doesn’t stop talking. Ever. It’s difficult to get a word in edgeways when she’s in that mood. And normally, I can take it. Because, you know, you accept your friends with all their flaws. But last night, she was going on and on about work and how it sucks and how our manager sucks and how this and that suck. I’m sorry, but I don’t accept that it all sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it. I don’t accept that you have no control. If you’re so unhappy, have you spoken to anyone about it? If not, then it’s your own fault. Nothing is going change just because you want it to change. I hated my life a few years ago and I changed it. Nobody else. Me. I made the decision to change both my attitude and my circumstances and sure, it didn’t happen immediately but it happened. I felt like a fool to be sitting there and actually liking my job and my life. I’m actually happy. No ifs and buts. Of course, I’d like to share my life with someone, but I’m not pining. Sometimes sitting and listening to people bitch and moan about things that they have no intention of changing really pisses me off.

I know that there are some situations that are beyond your control – death, illness, lay offs etc – but when it comes to the other stuff, it’s your life, it’s your attitude. If you go through life expecting things to change when you do nothing to change yourself, you’re bound to live a crappy, unhappy life, in my opinion.

In other news, I’m going to try make grilled Portabello Mushrooms today. This is big for many reasons:

  1. I used to hate mushrooms and, in fact, have only recently started “re-eating” them. Long story.
  2. I’ve never made this dish ever before, nor have I tasted it so I have no idea what it should taste like or look like
  3. I’m using a brand new grilling pan so wish me luck!

Exciting stuff, isn’t it?

Back to last night, I had to get off the subway 6 stops early due to the insidious, vicious BO of the person next to me. She got on and within one stop I knew that there was no way I could deal. I don’t know how anyone else did either. I got off, intending to get onto another car but the doors closed really quickly so I waited for the next one. Seriously, don’t people REALISE that washing is kinda good for you? I can’t even describe this smell without just saying think of the worst smell you’ve ever experienced. It was worse.

Okay, enough rambling.


2 thoughts on ““So this is what cabin fever feels like …”

  1. I, too, just hate it when people whine and complain and bitch and moan about stuff that they have no intention of changing. My Ex does that (constantly — it’s as if he defines himself by that which oppresses him. If he’s not being opressed, he doesn’t feel he exists.) I find that a good way to get the subject changed is to listen intently to the complainer, and then ask, very sincerely, “So what did he say when you told him this?” or “So, what have you decided to do? Have you formulated a plan yet?”.

    It is important to be sincerely interested in the responses, letting the complainer know I have faith that you are taking action, that you would not just sit back and let this intolerable situation continue. I think this technique helps to get people thinking along the lines of “what am I doing to do” instead of “look what’s being done to me”. It also has had the remarkable outcome of reducing the numbr of people who seek me out to complain to me about the state of the world or their lives or whatever — they know I’m going to want to know what they are doing or have done or are planning to do about it. 🙂

    PS Love your blog! 🙂

  2. I love the rambling. It’s nice to actually hear someone say they are happy. It seems so much in our culture to bitch and complain it takes me a back when they do say they are happy.

    Good luck with the mushroom dish. If it turns out good, share the recipe.

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