An addiction and some drama-rama

Firstly, I hath a new addiction, despite trying to avoid its siren song for so long.

Yes, I am now on twitter. Follow me – gemfit. More pithy commentary about my life – didn’t you know that’s EXACTLY what you were missing?? Here’s Gemfit – now with more pith!

Seriously, I don’t know what it is, but there’s no pressure with coming up with something good to post. It’s just there. Anything. And sometimes it’s silly but it’s fun. So join!!!

Onto the drama-rama. Weddings. Oh, weddings. There’s a reason there are so many wedding-based reality shows – Wedding SOS, Bridezilla, Rich Bride, Poor Bride. There is so much drama attached to weddings that it’s almost impossible to avoid. And my mother, bless her soul, walked right into one.

My mother gets very involved. She means well, best intentions, etc, but she has tons of trouble seeing that line – she crosses it ALL the time. My brother and I deal with it because we know she loves us and it’s all done out of love. But my brother’s fiance has not come from the same family atmosphere – her family was very different. Plus her previous MIL and family was, to the say least, annoying and totally controlling (with no best intentions at all), so she’s a little proud and protective of her control. Can you see where this is going?

I saw this coming. A few weeks ago there was a blow up about the size of the wedding – my mother was planning a 200 person wedding – they wanted a small 60 person cocktail party. My parents are paying for the wedding. Can you see where this is going?

So they agreed to a smaller wedding so my brother could use the rest of the money for  a down-payment for a house. My mother started surfing the web looking for houses and going to viewings. Can you see where this is going?

And she booked the venue and the synagogue and changed some details (trying to help) and there was a MAJOR blowup. She’s crying and refusing to do anything for them ever (she’ll get over it), my brother is trying to mend fences, his fiance is calling and texting and trying to mend fences and there’s a lot of drama.

And I could see this coming a mile away and I told her so. I told her not to sulk and refuse to do anything – if they ask her for help, she should help but NO DOING SOMETHING WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION – no changing dates or venues or colour schemes. No booking things if they don’t ask. Make suggestions but this is their wedding – or rather, this is my brother’s fiance’s wedding. He’s super laid back and understands my mother so won’t take offense.

So I hear my mother crying on the phone and I want to hug her and I don’t want her to stop loving with all her heart but she needs to remember her early days as a newlywed and her clashes with her MIL and step back.

*sigh* All the drama-rama of a tv show and I don’t even have to subscribe!


2 thoughts on “An addiction and some drama-rama

  1. “more pith” hehe!

    From what I’ve observed, it’s really REALLY hard for mothers when it’s their SONS getting married–they don’t get to be involved in the planning the same way they would with a daughter tying the knot.

    I’m sure she means well… but booking venues, changing details… NOT OKAY! 🙂

  2. I think your mother is my MIL. Tries to be helpful TO A FAULT. When I was planning my wedding, I finally freaked out and told my then-fiance (now husband) to tell her to BACK OFF, which she did until the first grandchild was born. Then he had to tell her to BACK OFF again, which she did until the second grandchild – can you see where this is going? Sigh. After many years of trying to be polite, I finally realized that she would only get it if I was spelled it out for her: B-O-U-N-D-A-R-I-E-S. She’s better now, but for many years she drove me crazy. Tell your future SIL to set the boundaries now – it will be much easier to do it now than later!! And for the record, my MIL is a great person – she would tear off her right arm for me if I asked her to, so I try to be as nice as I can, but sometimes I fail in this regard.

    Okay, obviously the issue of MILs is a touchy one for me! Sorry for the super long comment!! 😉

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