*No, I’m not exaggerating. This is seriously stupid.
A few days ago, I was aimlessly surfing the web working very hard and I came across a website called eNotAlone. On this website, they have an excerpt from a book called Escape your Shape: How to Work Out Smarter Not Harder. I’m not linking to the book on Amazon or anything because honestly, I think that nobody in their right mind should buy this book EVER. Seriously. I’ve linked to the excerpt though.
Why? Why do I feel so strongly? Allow me to explain.
They categorise everyone into a number of “shapes” – women generally fall into Hourglass or Spoon. Men fall into Cone or Ruler. Okay, so far, nothing revolutionary or stupid. According to their system, I am a Spoon – more weight on my lower body, tend to gain weight there first. Again, simple.
The stupid part comes from their advice on how to work out – remember, this about working out “smarter” not harder. What do they recommend for Spoon shapes?
It is important to note that as a Spoon, you bulk the fastest of all the body types from the hips down, so it’s vital that each and every time you exercise you do so with absolutely no resistance or weights.
This is a direct quote. No weights EVER. Apparently my aim is to get to the ‘ideal measurements of 34-29-36. That’s the ideal for every “spoon” out there, didya know? But wait, there’s more!
Apparently, the ‘best’ exercises for my shape? Light resistance biking, jump rope, marching in place and push-ups. The exercises I need to avoid:
- Leg presses
- Leg extensions and leg curls
- All ellipitical machines
- All stair climbers/steppers
- All step classes
- Long-distance running at high speeds
- All high-impact aerobic and exercise classes
- All lower-body exercises with moderate to high resistance or weights
- Walking or jogging on any sort of incline
- Rowing with lower-body resistance
- Jumping rope with a weighted rope
- Inner-outer leg machines
- Cross-country ski machine with lower-body resistance
Yeah, exercise, I’ve been doing it all wrong. All these exercises that are ‘bad’ for me? I’ve been doing them all under the bizarre impression that they burn calories and build muscle. But, according to this book, muscle is BAD:
You don’t want to push out the fat as you build muscle underneath.
Now can you see why I think this is the STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever read?