Decisions

How do you make major life-changing decisions? I ask this seriously because while I’ve made some major decisions (hello moving across the world because I was bored!) I’m not entirely sure how to go about making them.

Do you follow your gut? Do you make them impulsively and hope to hell you got it right?

I remember the moment I decided to move to Canada. I was at a Tony Robbins seminar with my brother – my father had sent us mainly because he thought my brother needed it and then he didn’t want to seem like he was favouring one sibling over the other, so I got to go too. I think I ended up benefitting more than my brother did.

I remember the moment – it was on day 3. We were asked to make 2 decisions – one small and one major. The small decision would seem insignificant, just take us 10% off the path we were on. The big decision would be huge but we would set a time frame and make it definite. My small decision was to stop caring what people thought of me. Yeah, that’s still a work in progress. But my big decision, made in September 2006 was that, in one year’s time, I would be living overseas. Done.

And I made it happen. I got the visa, I got the job, I picked up, packed up, and moved my ass across the world. I figured that I had nothing holding me back other than family and I was young so yay adventure. I was stuck in a rut – professionally, socially, everything. The only way I knew how to break out was to GO.

And the move was the best thing I ever did. I settled down, made friends with people who didn’t know my brother, my parents or had any expectations of me other than that I was the crazy Aussie chick. I got fit, got healthy, got happy.

And then I met Lee. And now I have some more major decisions to make. Because we need a plan to be in the same country, same city. And nobody said it was going to be easy.

I’m torn but I’m not. I know, that makes no sense. On the one hand, I’ve build myself an awesome life here. I have a job that I love (most of the time), friends who are amazing and who I feel super close to, an apartment I feel at home in and generally, a good life.

But now I’ve met Lee. I’mย  sorry, I did promise no more posts about him but seriously, I lied.

So I know that the chances of him getting a visa to come over here are very slim. I know that he could get work in Australia very easily. I know I could get work back home very easily. I know that we would be closer to family and support. I wouldn’t have the issues with credit that I have here. I’d be out of the rut that I was in before so my move would have achieved everything it needed to.

And to be honest, I’m coming around to the idea of moving back over there. It wouldn’t necessarily be moving home per se as we’d probably move to Sydney, not Melbourne (*sniff*) but it would be closer. And if you’d asked me 2 months ago if I would be thinking about moving back, I would have laughed.

But here I am.

I’m a little scared to be honest. I don’t know why. I’m scared that all this will have been for nothing. That I’ll revert to who I was before even though I know I won’t. It’s like that’s the big bad wolf and I escaped but i don’t know why I’m even thinking that. I’m actually mentally getting myself ready to move, even though it wouldn’t be until the end of the year if anything. I’m still going through with my Canadian paperwork, mainly because I think taking options off the table is silly. I’m thinking about getting rid of my stuff (anyone need any kitchen stuff? I have good stuff …) so it’s easier to move.

I guess I’m excited and scared at the same time.

Yeah, this was a ramble. Sorry about that. Regular programming to resume tomorrow. I promise. In fact, I’ll write the post now. It’ll be about my first ever tennis lesson. It’s a funny one.

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10 thoughts on “Decisions

  1. I have no helpful advice for you, but I’m glad you are happy (sort of) and blogging again!

    One part of me thinks that you should move back for all of the reasons you listed. Another part of me thinks, how would you feel if you moved back and things didn’t work out with the dreamy new bf? Would you still be happy back home or would there be resentment that you left this great life in Canada that you had built on your own?

    Okay, sorry, like I said I have no helpful advice – just more questions for you to ponder!

  2. Yep, those are some major decisions! My only answer is that when I’m faced with them, I pray, ask my family for input, and then go with my gut. See where it takes you! ๐Ÿ™‚

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