So I have a good friend going through a breakup. We were roommates when I first moved over here and we go back years and years. We have our ups and downs and I’ve accepted that our friendship is a certain kind of friendship – this is not someone who’s moods I can rely on. This is not someone who is unselfish in her friendship. There are conditions and as long as I’m fine with it, we’re good. And I made a decision a long time ago that I value this friendship enough not to expect more from it than is offered.
But this breakup. It’s a tough one. They were together for over 2 years – living together for about 8 months of that. It’s been going downhill for a few months and came to a head about 2 weeks ago. So the breakup has been going on for about a week really. I’ve been a supportive friend throughout I think – dropping things and going over to sit with her and drink and let her cry. I’ve talked her through things on the phone, I’ve been there via email.
The final talk of the breakup was scheduled for the weekend. I had previous plans I couldn’t get out of – family commitments and another friend’s 30th birthday. I knew it was going to be a tough weekend for her but I had to stick to my plans. I tried to call her on Saturday and on Sunday and got nothing.
Today, I dropped her an email and responses are 1 line and very curt. Something tells me that she’s angry – at me, at her ex, at the world – and I’m trying to understand her and be understanding and not take it personally but I feel off about it. She’s generally fairly moody – PMS around her is a challenge – but it gets difficult not to take personally when you’re getting all caps 1 line responses to questions.
Trying to breathe here and not get defensive. Any suggestions or should I just walk away and let her calm down?