A lesson in gym etiquette

Dear fellow gym-goers,

I realise that gym time means different things to different people. You may not see it as an escape from the everyday stresses and life out there. You may indeed see it as an extension of your home and the weekend clubs. But in the interests of not pissing me off, please note the following:

  1. Please leave your cell phones (this includes blackberries) in your locker while working out. Answering calls LOUDLY while on the treadmill and bike and conducting business is really not conducive to allowing me to chill out and focus on my exercise. If I can hear your gossip or work conversation over my music, shut up already.
  2. If you are not actually at the gym to work out, please stop hogging the stepper and elliptical machines by pretending to exercise while preening for the cute guy/girl nearby. I realise you out a lot of effort into your outfit and you’d hate to mar it with sweat but I would like to actually get my heartrate up through exercise and not frustration so move over and preen in front of the mirror.
  3. But, if you DO move over to the mirror, please be aware of other gym-goers who may be using that mirror and try not to position yourself directly in front of them, blocking their view and making it a challenge to check their form. You know, their form while they’re actually working out and not playing with their hair and flirting?
  4. Also, please note which gym-goers are there to work out and which to flirt. I don’t appreciate the big lunkhead in the muscle tee coming over to offer me help when it’s obvious he’s got no clue what he’s doing AND he’s been blocking my mirror while trying to impress me with his steroid-assisted muscles. Not cool dude. Yes, I WILL shut you down in 2 seconds.
  5. Once you’re done pretending to lift weights or stretch while showing off to the nearest hunka-burning-love, please put your weights and mat away. Unless of course you have no strength to lift those weights onto the racks. In that case, get yourself a trainer and learn. Oh, some of the trainers are quite cute so you may be able to get strong AND flirt. Bonus!

That’s my PSA for the moment. Please take a moment to read it and absorb it. This way, I will not feel obliged to hit you with a dumbell the next time we meet.


6 thoughts on “A lesson in gym etiquette

  1. hahaha!! My gym has a “cardio theater” which is like a movie theater with machines instead of seats. I’d only add to your list:
    Please don’t spoil the movie by adding your own soundtrack!


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