There is an intruder in my apartment. He waited outside, patiently, until I opened the door in a moment of weakness. He entered the apartment sometime over the weekend and refuses to leave. Whenever I enter a room, he’s there, lurking in the shadows. When I open the door and beg him to leave, he stubbornly refuses until I can beg no more.
Does anyone know how I can persuade this stupid FLY to flee?!
Seriously, I’m at the point where I’m prepared to buy the strongest fly spray known to man just to rid myself of this unwanted visitor. I’m not a fan of fly sprays, mainly because they tend to asphixiate everyone in the vicinity EXCEPT the fly (who seems to know exactly where to go to avoid the damn stuff) but I’m at the end of my rope. I could have sworn he was out earlier and I rejoiced, alas prematurely for he made a move and I saw him again, in my bedroom.
I never thought of myself as someone with murderous tendancies, other than when it came to my assistant, but this fly is pushing me to my limits. Wait, maybe it was the mosquito last week that pushed me to my limits and the fly is more the last straw …
Whichever it is, do you think it’s wrong to attack with a hammer?
Staying on course 
Nothing wrong with a good, old-fashioned fly swatter!
ROFL at mental image of using a hammer!
I was very very tempted but I didn’t think my landlord would have approved or understood …