It’s a well known phenomenon when someone survives a situation or event and others don’t. They say DJ AM had it from the plane crash he survived last year. They use it to describe how people feel when they’ve survived a bunch of lay-offs at work and their friends haven’t been so lucky.
I feel it at times. I feel it now.
Not because I’ve survived a tragic event or my friends have been laid-off. No, I’m feeling it because I’m not in debt and I’m not majorly effected by the recession (yet). I feel it because I’ve been able to live comfortably in a nice apartment, in a nice side of town without worrying too much about where my next meal is coming from or how I’m going to pay my rent. I’ve been able to shop when I want and know that I have money if I need it. I’m not an extravagant person and I don’t live beyond my means – never have – and I watch my friends spend money and then worry about groceries and I feel guilty that it’s not me.
Planning a wedding in the whole recession atmosphere is fraught with pitfalls. Everyone’s talking about how to economise – how they managed to put on a wedding with few people for very little by making all the clothes or renting a school gym and picking wild flowers and having an iPod for the music. They talk about this so proudly and I sit there feeling guilty because that’s not the wedding I want.
I don’t need the huge wedding and the ballgowns either, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want a wedding with 350+ of my closest friends where I’ve spent $10 000 on a dress I’ll wear once. But at the same time, I don’t want a garden wedding with a keg and a BBQ with a dress I found at the discount thrift store. I want to feel special. I want to wear a wedding dress that I’ll never wear again. I want to celebrate properly.
I know it’s a lot of money to spend on one day and financially, it doesn’t make sense. But I want it and I feel guilty for wanting it. When there are people who are losing their homes and losing their livelyhoods, here I am wanting to spend a small fortune on one day. It seems ridiculous and so I feel the guilt. I know I’m being silly (or maybe I’m not). But I don’t want to regret the decisions I make for this wedding. I don’t want to compromise everything away. I don’t need the fancy schmancy stuff but I don’t want to minimise the day to such an extent that it’s something I don’t enjoy.