I was looking around a nearly empty apartment, selling my stuff, packing the rest either for storage or to take with me. I had my list and I was checking it twice (wait, now I sound like Santa) and trying to ignore the fact that soon I would be halfway across the world knowing only one person (who I would be living with) and starting a whole new life.
See above (minus the packing for storage – nothing is being stored this time!).
It’s a weird feeling, this deja vu. This I’m-sure-I’ve-done-this-exact-thing-before thing. Except this time I know that I’m not coming back here to live again and the next visit will be a while away. Last time, I knew nothing about my life to be – other than a couch I was going to crash on and a job I had lined up. I had no idea whether I would like it or even survive my first winter. I know my parents thought I’d be back in Melbourne in 6 months.
I can’t remember how I felt really before I left. If I felt this overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done but I don’t think so. Last time I had my family around me. I didn’t have to think of everything. Whatever I didn’t take with me, got stored so I didn’t have to worry about getting rid of it. But I also think I erased the memory of the stress from my mind.
In fact, I had more stress and fewer ways to deal. I had to transition my role to a new person and walk away – this time I’m going freelance the day after I “leave” the job on Thursday so other than not working in the office, the job stays the same. I wasn’t eating well or exercising very much (other than walking) so I didn’t have that release. I’m using this to help me in a big way.
I think it’s too easy to let healthy eating and exercise fall by the wayside when you’re going through something stressful but it does really help. Sometimes making the time to go exercise helps in itself and then the endorphin release helps even more. I’m one to eat from stress and last week I realised that eating crap was only making me feel more like crap. So I bit the bullet and went grocery shopping. If I end up having stuff left over, so be it. And you know what? I feel a ton better for it.
Come October I’ll be a resident in a whole new country (country #4 for those counting). I wonder what I’ll be doing in September 2012?