Sometimes you chase and you chase and then when you suddenly look like you’re getting what you want, you have no frickening clue if it’s really what you want anymore.
Does that make any sense?
I found a job online the other week. Based in Sydney.
We’re both in Auckland now.
The job sounded AWESOME.
I asked the Boy if I could apply and he told me to go for it. So I did. I threw together a resume and a quick cover letter and sent it through. And then I promptly forgot about it because I’d applied for another job in Sydney a few weeks before and got nothing.
I had a phone call with HR last week and again, I hung up and forgot about it because they asked my salary expectations right off the bat and I thought I’d priced myself out of the job. And then they called me today. We had another chat and they want to set up a formal interview but only if we’re really prepared to move.
Moving again after only 6 months here. 3 weeks after buying my car (my car!!). Do I really want to do this? Moving which would entail commuting really until the Boy can get a job in Sydney. That could take a week or it could take 6 months. Do I really want to go back to a long-distance engagement? Heck, I miss him like mad when he’s away for a night!
But on the other side, it would be a full time job with colleagues and new challenges. Everything I hate about my life now would go. It would still be really hard – moving again, no friends, no family either, but workwise, it would be good. It would be a promotion of sorts, a steady income, a steady challenge.
The Boy has told me to go for it and we’ll work it out if it happens. I’m just not sure what I want to do anymore.