Enabling or supporting?

Do you surround yourself with enablers or supporters?

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately and noticing the comments and “support” that a lot of people seem to want and give.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re doing your best”

“You’re completely right in not drinking any water to avoid going to the bathroom and passing by the donuts. Good choice!”

“I do the same thing – isn’t avoiding the couch HARD? You’re fit anyway, you don’t need it”

These are paraphrasing but basically the gist of the comments. And while a lot of the time, we do crave some validation of our choices and decisions, so often we need a kick in the tush instead of someone patting us on the head and giving us a gold star when we make excuses.

Because so often all they are are excuses.

I read a blog today where the main contention was that in order to avoid donuts that were on the way to the bathroom, she stopped drinking water all afternoon. And the comments were pretty much all supportive of this. the ONE comment that DARED to criticise it? Got pulled out and shamed. Seriously. Everyone gave the blogger a fricking GOLD STAR for swapping one unhealthy choice for another. They are all enabling her in the guise of support.

So, do you surround yourself with enablers or supporters? Do you want your nearest and dearest to pat you on the head when you choose chocolate for dinner and ignore the gym or do you want them to encourage you to make better choices, to make you think about your choices and when, like me this morning, you really don’t feel like hitting the gym, push you out the door because they know you’ll feel better going?

I know what I want.

This morning I almost didn’t go to the gym. The Boy pushed me out the door (almost literally) and I hit the elliptical for 25 minutes, then did 20 minutes of weights before being pulled into a pilates class for an hour. So I went from wanting to sit on the couch doing nothing to working out fir almost 2 hours. Better option? Definitely. It would have been so easy to make excuses and not work out but The Boy supports me and encourages me. Better that than enabling me.


2 thoughts on “Enabling or supporting?

  1. I have trouble with this. I often think a blogger is not eating enough, or screwing around too much, or not accepting that his or her body has settled on the weight it wants to be and they’re killing themselves to get that last 10%. But I don’t feel okay about saying it. A blog is a personal kingdom and it’s hard to find tactful ways of challenging someone in their own backyard, so to speak.

    • Yeah, it’s tough. By seeing how this blogger reacted (and others I’ve noticed), I don’t think some people want to be called out. Personally, I want people to call me out and push me, but obviously it’s easier for others not to have that. I don’t know if I would comment on a blog but there have been times I’ve emailed bloggers I’m closer to and expressed my concerns.

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