Are you a spender or a saver?

If you get an unexpected bonus at work or a tax refund, do you immediately go out and spend it or are you more conservative and think of savings first?

In my relationship, I’m definitely the saver. The Boy is a tech-head and would spend every cent we have on new iPhones and iPads and computers until the cows came home. I do spend money – don’t get me wrong – but my purchases are smaller and I tend to think longer term with the big ones.

Like right now. The Boy wants a new iPhone even though he will be getting one through work, but later (and not on release day). He’s trying to justify it by saying it’ll be mine once he gets his work one. The thing is that my iPhone is less than a year old. I’m perfectly happy with it. Don’t need a new one. And plus, we have a mucho expensive wedding and honeymoon coming up, which in mind is more of a priority. So I’m all NO WAY JOSE and as a result, I feel like a bitch.

He’ll be getting a couple of grand back in his tax refund and normally, I’d be all “sure, spend it” but again, the honeymoon he wants to go on is not a cheap one and I’m really pro not coming back entirely in debt. But again, I feel like the bitch in this situation.

I hate being the one to say no all the time. I hate feeling like this. I know he knows I’m not doing it to be the bitch but still, saying no sucks.

But I’ve always been a saver. I like shopping but hate debt. With the exception of my time in Canada when I really was making just enough to live on and not enough to save, I’ve had a savings goal and worked towards it. I grew up with the concept of putting money towards savings FIRST before spending anything and it’s something I enjoy. This is not something I really want to change, especially since we will need a savings buffer to eventually move – be it to Australia or to a bigger place here. But I need advice on dealing with my guilt on saying no.

I’m Jewish, we do guilt well. I just hate feeling it really.


3 thoughts on “Are you a spender or a saver?

  1. Hi! New{er} follower here πŸ™‚

    I’m like you. I was taught that you save first and spend later. I hate being in debt, and I’d rather do without than have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me “you really shouldn’t have bought this”! But then I get to the point where once we can afford something, I feel guilty for spending the money! I’m a planner, but I never liked the idea of having a budget. It seemed like too much work. I finally bit the bullet and made one, and that’s helped a lot. I have a better idea of where our money is going and what we can and can’t afford. I was able to tell my husband how much we had, what we were spending on things, and how much we would need to save for things that we wanted. Once he looked through it with me, we were more on the same page. I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but it helped me πŸ™‚

    But yeah, saying “no” sucks!

    • Yeah, I know we need to get a budget going. I don’t know why I’ve been avoiding it!

      But we chatted about it and came to a compromise – if The Boy can find enough stuff to sell to make up enough cash for the new iPhone, he can buy it. That way, we’re not getting into strife PLUS we get rid of stuff, so double bonus!

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