If you get an unexpected bonus at work or a tax refund, do you immediately go out and spend it or are you more conservative and think of savings first?
In my relationship, I’m definitely the saver. The Boy is a tech-head and would spend every cent we have on new iPhones and iPads and computers until the cows came home. I do spend money – don’t get me wrong – but my purchases are smaller and I tend to think longer term with the big ones.
Like right now. The Boy wants a new iPhone even though he will be getting one through work, but later (and not on release day). He’s trying to justify it by saying it’ll be mine once he gets his work one. The thing is that my iPhone is less than a year old. I’m perfectly happy with it. Don’t need a new one. And plus, we have a mucho expensive wedding and honeymoon coming up, which in mind is more of a priority. So I’m all NO WAY JOSE and as a result, I feel like a bitch.
He’ll be getting a couple of grand back in his tax refund and normally, I’d be all “sure, spend it” but again, the honeymoon he wants to go on is not a cheap one and I’m really pro not coming back entirely in debt. But again, I feel like the bitch in this situation.
I hate being the one to say no all the time. I hate feeling like this. I know he knows I’m not doing it to be the bitch but still, saying no sucks.
But I’ve always been a saver. I like shopping but hate debt. With the exception of my time in Canada when I really was making just enough to live on and not enough to save, I’ve had a savings goal and worked towards it. I grew up with the concept of putting money towards savings FIRST before spending anything and it’s something I enjoy. This is not something I really want to change, especially since we will need a savings buffer to eventually move – be it to Australia or to a bigger place here. But I need advice on dealing with my guilt on saying no.
I’m Jewish, we do guilt well. I just hate feeling it really.