But WHY?

It’s week 2 of working at my new job at a Big Publishing House (name to be suppressed) and I’m enjoying the routine but feeling frustrated at not being able to ‘hit the ground running’ as they say. Not that they expect that – no, I’m being given tons of inductions and small projects to learn and take things slowly. But I’m used to being competent and fast and efficient and for me, waiting on someone else to take me through the procedure or lead the meeting or whatnot is frustrating as heck.

I’m busy doing the ‘busy’ work that needs to be done but nobody usually has time to do it themselves. So it’s keeping me busy but I’m aching to be under pressure myself. I know I’ll be complaining about the pressure at some point and I’ll come back and read this post and laugh manically, but right now, I’m craving pressure. I’m happy to learn and do stuff that needs to be done but being competent is part of who I am and I learn by doing not by reading process documents. But I’m not complaining, don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying having a job again and meeting people and routine and all that stuff I was missing. I just miss being competent but it’ll come.

As you may have realised over the years of blog posts, I am not a patient person and I forget sometimes that things take time. Or rather, I remember and then plaintively whimper “but WHY??”, hoping that it’ll make things, you know, move faster. Strangely enough, it doesn’t accomplish anything except make me more frustrated and make everyone around me block their ears in pain. Okay maybe I’m not that bad …

The people seem lovely but it’s a bit of the new kid on the block and I’m slowly finding my way around. It seems I’ve taken to lunching with the editors instead of with my team since it appears nobody in my team takes lunch. While this may be indicative of the pressure, I’ve always taken lunch, even it’s been 10 minutes away from my desk to eat so I’m hoping I can keep that going in this role. My sanity is dependent on getting lunch!

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One thought on “But WHY?

  1. It always takes time to adjust to a new job! When I started my last job, I felt so useless (I know I’m useful but I wasn’t doing anything that felt meaty or constructive for the first two months)! I had come fresh outta uni with all the enthusiasm in the world and I was used to being under the pump – it was hard spending time doing very little and letting everyone baby me!
    You’ll be busy and productive in time – don’t sweat it 🙂

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