I am a terrible health and fitness blogger. The worst.
I vanish when things get tough. When the numbers aren’t good. When the exercise is non-existent and the stress levels are high. I fall off the wagon and I don’t share that because I’m ashamed.
In short, I’m like everyone else and I hate it. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not insulting anyone here. I’m just disappointed in myself because I thought I knew better. I thought I knew all the tricks and that I’d CHANGED. I was DIFFERENT. I mean, I’d done this healthy living thing for years and I had it down pat. I knew how to fuel my body and how junk food made me feel. I knew how good exercise was for me and how I never regret working out but I regret not working out. I thought I knew all this stuff.
Then life happened and I thought I had it tough. I was working full time, studying part-time, moving house and trying to stay sane at the same time. Everything fell by the wayside. I ate what was there because I was so damn tired all the time that I didn’t have time to make something to nourish me and stop me from feeling so tired. I slept instead of exercised and I rationalised that I needed sleep over activity even though I knew that exercising would relieve my stress. Everything stopped because my life was so damn HARD people!
And then my friend got a brain tumour.
And then my father ended up in ER vomitting blood (ended up okay but still shook me).
And another friend had a miscarriage.
And yet another friend got diagnosed with leukeumia.
And suddenly, my life is pretty damn good actually. I’m healthy. I’m surrounded by loving friends and family. I’ve taken on a lot this year but it’s good stuff and I’ve done it out of choice. Every change I’ve made this year that’s caused me stress has been my choice. And I need to take ownership of that, and realise that my life is like everyone else’s. I need to stop making excuses. Stop pretending that I know everything because I don’t. As my father always says, knowing doesn’t get results. Doing gets results. I need to stop knowing and starting doing.
Tonight I’m visiting my friend Kate who has just undergone her first round of chemotherapy for leukeumia. I will laugh with her and chat about all sorts of things and when I leave, I’ll hold back any tears or sadness that she’s in a hospital bed at all.
Tomorrow, I’m heading back to the gym because I can and because it’s good for me and because I need it.
Readers, I’ve had too much sad news lately to whinge and moan about my life. I’m too busy counting my own blessings really, or at least I should be. Because I’m truly blessed.