Taking stock and counting blessings

I am a terrible health and fitness blogger. The worst.

I vanish when things get tough. When the numbers aren’t good. When the exercise is non-existent and the stress levels are high. I fall off the wagon and I don’t share that because I’m ashamed.

In short, I’m like everyone else and I hate it. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not insulting anyone here. I’m just disappointed in myself because I thought I knew better. I thought I knew all the tricks and that I’d CHANGED. I was DIFFERENT. I mean, I’d done this healthy living thing for years and I had it down pat. I knew how to fuel my body and how junk food made me feel. I knew how good exercise was for me and how I never regret working out but I regret not working out. I thought I knew all this stuff.

Then life happened and I thought I had it tough. I was working full time, studying part-time, moving house and trying to stay sane at the same time. Everything fell by the wayside. I ate what was there because I was so damn tired all the time that I didn’t have time to make something to nourish me and stop me from feeling so tired. I slept instead of exercised and I rationalised that I needed sleep over activity even though I knew that exercising would relieve my stress. Everything stopped because my life was so damn HARD people!

And then my friend got a brain tumour.

And then my father ended up in ER vomitting blood (ended up okay but still shook me).

And another friend had a miscarriage.

And yet another friend got diagnosed with leukeumia.

And suddenly, my life is pretty damn good actually. I’m healthy. I’m surrounded by loving friends and family. I’ve taken on a lot this year but it’s good stuff and I’ve done it out of choice. Every change I’ve made this year that’s caused me stress has been my choice. And I need to take ownership of that, and realise that my life is like everyone else’s. I need to stop making excuses. Stop pretending that I know everything because I don’t. As my father always says, knowing doesn’t get results. Doing gets results. I need to stop knowing and starting doing.

Tonight I’m visiting my friend Kate who has just undergone her first round of chemotherapy for leukeumia. I will laugh with her and chat about all sorts of things and when I leave, I’ll hold back any tears or sadness that she’s in a hospital bed at all.

Tomorrow, I’m heading back to the gym because I can and because it’s good for me and because I need it.

Readers, I’ve had too much sad news lately to whinge and moan about my life. I’m too busy counting my own blessings really, or at least I should be. Because I’m truly blessed.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Taking stock and counting blessings

  1. You are amazing and honest and positive. I am sure that those in your life who are struggling a lot will benefit from your attitude.
    I wish your friends and family all the best – look after yourself too xo

  2. We are all blessed, sister. Sometimes it takes something to “get us out of our heads” and look at other’s lives to realize that we aren’t doing so badly after all. Prayers and hugs to you and your friends.

  3. I am totally in agreement with you here – sometimes we need that moment that charges us ahead. It’s so true – “doing” is what gets results. I am glad you are forging ahead and “doing” – do it for your friends and family. Thinking of you all!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s