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I’m in a funk. A funky funk funk funk. It’s not a nice place to be but I’m determined not to wallow, as lovely as wallowing sounds.
I’m determined to set myself some goals to get out of this funky funk funk funk. I need out.
Part of my funk is the fact that we’re back in Melbourne (which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong) but it’s being back here and trying to meld my old self with my new self that’s proving a challenge. I’m working out which of my old friendships are still good for me and which are toxic (and boy, are some of them toxic) and I’m trying to consolidate the old with the new. I’m also back working at my old job and dealing with the same issues that were there 4 years ago. Part of me knew that would be the case and I don’t feel like I have a right to complain about that. Which makes it hard when all I want to do right now is WHINGE and WHINE and COMPLAIN and STAMP MY FEET.
Apparently that’s not productive or something. Whatever.
So instead, I’m setting some goals in the hope that focusing on those goals will take my mind off of being tired (I’m calling about the blood tests tomorrow), being frustrated and being in a funky funk funk funk.
- Complete my uni assignments this weekend and give myself time to edit and proof and not have to rush during the week.
- Get to the gym more (I spent the evening on the couch with The Boy instead. It was good to wallow for a bit) since part of my funk is that I’ve gained weight and feel unfit and fat.
- Work on a plan to change jobs or have a different focus to my job by July 2012. That will be just over a year in this job and I can focus on that when I get frustrated. By that time, maybe we’ll have decided to have kids, maybe I’ll be happy there, maybe I’ll forget all about this funk. But for now, having that goal will be good.
- Blog more often and write every day. I have to work on this goal as it’s part of my longterm plan but I’m procrastinating for no reason at all. It’s all about habit.
- Once uni is over, I’d like to make at least 2 new recipes a week. I have a ton of cookbooks that I should actually USE and they’re all healthy options, which would make us eat better, instead of having toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner.
- Oh, and drink more water. That’s on every goal list.
So, 6 goals to focus on at the moment. Some big, some small. The small ones will end up pulling me out more than the big ones but I like having big picture goals. And realising that they’re doable because they are.
Hey Funky funk funk funk? You’re done for, you hear me?
Thirty-one years ago, my mother was at the hospital getting a bunch of tests to determine whether I was ready to be born. Apparently they x-rayed my knees to determine whether I was developed enough. If my knees had said no, I would have been born on June 11. Weird fact I know you wanted to know!
A conundrum of age though – this morning I looked in the mirror, confounded by the zit in the middle of my forehead (literally dead-centre between my eyes) and hobbling around with a sore hip. Zits and aches and pains – surely an indication that I’m straddling the line between young tart and old fart. Obviously my body hasn’t gotten the memo that I’m a grown up but not elderly yet.
But as I think of birthdays past and present, I’m in a good place right now. True, I’d like to be moved into our own place but that’s happening in the next 2 weeks. And true, I’d like to be 5 kgs lighter but otherwise I’m healthy and happy and surrounded by good friends and my family. I’m in a job that makes me happy, The Boy is working for the Big Company he’s always wanted to work for and he’s happy. I’m going back to uni in July for my Masters so bring on the challenge! Between the two of us, we have great friends here and that makes me happy.
So I’m starting the new “me” year as a happy me. New beginnings all around but with the people I love around me. What more could one ask for?
(Other than a free ice-cream maker to review and keep … hint hint anyone out there!)
After the kerfuffle at the old job about my blog and using my phone and whatnot, I figured it was easier to just stop blogging for a while instead of trying to post non-controversial posts. It was hard avoiding almost everything social media since I wasn’t actually clear on what the issue was about my blog and I really felt as if I had to curtail “me” for the last 3 weeks. But now I’m back to being me since I’ve left the old job and I’m in the new job. Which is kinda an old job since I used to work here years ago before I shifted overseas.
It’s nice to be me again.
And The Boy is all happy again since he’s started work with a Big Company and we bought him a fancy-pants car. After 2 months of being dependent on other people and unemployed (and bored), he’s finally independent, employed and busy. It’s nice to have him back too. He’s smiling more and joking and HAPPY.
We’re still actually living with the parents though, since our apartment is still not ready for habitation. Something about the bathroom not being completed is a problem – at the moment, the toilet is sitting in the middle of the study, which makes it useless and rather in the way. But the painters have started and I’m confident we’ll be in by the end of the month.
Health and fitness wise, well, we’re nowhere. The Boy and I have decided that while we’re eating my mother’s cooking, we’re doing well not to gain more weight so maintaining is our goal for the moment. I’m looking at joining a gym and perhaps starting on an eating plan with those prepared meals so neither of us has to worry about buying lunches and whatnot but we’ll see. I’ve gained 5 kgs and I’m not liking it. But what can you do? A lot I know, but I’m not beating myself up about it. So I’m just making healthier choices and going from there.
Oh, and I’ve been accepted into my Masters of Creative Writing, Publishing and Editing which starts in July so that’s exciting. Things are hotting up around here and finally getting going. Life is good 🙂
I’ve been back in Melbourne for almost 2 weeks now and it’s good to be social again. It’s also a little weird to be returning permanently to my life from 4 years ago. I’m back living with the parents, seeing the same old friends and visiting the same haunts. I’m just a completely different person really.
Even though I’ve been back visiting in the almost four years I’ve been away, it’s not the same as living here. My friends still remember me as the person I was – the non-cooking, non-exercising, skinny-fat girl who threw processed food into the microwave and avoided any type of exercise like the plague. I’m not really that girl anymore – despite the fact that I’ve been lazy as heck recently and really have to get back into the whole exercising game. I might still buy processed food in a pinch (okay, a bit more often than that sometimes) but I cook and love to cook. I love reading recipe books and magazines and trying new things. I exercise as a habit now and miss it when I don’t. I’m up to date with the latest in nutrition and diet and fitness wisdom, even if I don’t also choose to follow said wisdom.
But I’m also used to being the one who does this and knows this and suddenly I don’t know where I fit in in my old group of friends. They’re all competitively working out together and I’ve always said I wanted gym buddies but I’m not competitive so the whole regime is off-putting to me. I don’t want weekly weigh-ins with my friends, or to be timed running the 1000 steps once OR twice. I don’t want to listen to wisdom gained from The Biggest Loser where you have to eat ONLY 1200 calories to lose weight, regardless of your activity or current weight. I don’t want to talk about how bad fruit is for you or how terrible carbs are. But I keep my mouth shut since they all talk with authority and who am I to butt in? After all, I’m the lazy, unfit one of the group…
I knew this would happen I think. I know that I’ve changed a lot over the past few years – we all have – and I’m not sure where I fit anymore. But I love the company and the history that we have so I have to find that middle ground. And rejig my idea of gym buddies – maybe I’m a solo gym-goer at heart?
I’m sorry Health Monthers, I’ve been terrible this month. My first month as an official Health Month blogger and I let the side down halfway through the month. It’s been madness trying to organise this move and while I’ve been doing pretty well sticking to my rules mostly, I haven’t been tracking them or blogging about them. Next month, I’m taking a month off to allow myself to settle into my new life and then I’ll be back with a vengeance for April, I swear.
This month has just been tough. I went to the doctor today to get a repeat on some prescriptions and she took my blood pressure. It’s still within the normal and healthy range, but my blood pressure is usually pretty low, so I know it’s higher than usual. Which is not surprising – the movers are coming tomorrow, The Boy is going through hell at work, I’m starting a new job next week, selling my car today and I’m still processing the disaster that is Christchurch. In fact, I’d be surprised if my blood pressure wasn’t going mental.
After that appointment, I went to a pilates class. There was a new instructor who decided that today was the day we would be challenged on the reformers. Not a good one for me! I felt like such a wuss having to constantly ask her to lower my weights – seriously, three times in one exercise. Lady, I’m complaining, stop patronising me! Eventually, about 15 minutes before the end of class, I stood up, realised I felt like I was going to pass out and I left the class. My body was protesting the entire time and seriously, I don’t need the extra strain today. There was no way I was going to ignore my body’s signals.
So I’m taking strain and trying to remember to drink my water, breathe and stop crying over the fact that The Boy and I will be long distance again for 6 weeks. I’m a wuss but I’m missing him already, which is bonkers. The whole process of moving countries again is emotional and hard and even though I’m going to something great and The Boy and I will be happy there, I’m taking strain. I feel like I’m PMSing but it’s not that time of the month. I need time out but I have no time for that. So I’ll throw another load of laundry in before the movers take my washer and dryer away tomorrow (sob!) and go grab some bread and milk at the supermarket and maybe walk my way around since I’ll be car-less from 6pm tonight.
We’re moving for a good reason. I just need to remember that.
After weeks of waiting and being in limbo, the move is officially a GO! I got the job!!
But now I have to get everything done in 3 weeks. Yes, I’m moving in 3 weeks. I start work March 7 and I’d like to be in town a few days before to set sorted out. So 3 weeks from today. I have to print out my contract and sign it (easy), sell my car, pack up the apartment, organise painters, select someone to rent out our apartment and redirect all our mail. The Boy is only following me a few weeks later, so technically he can do a lot of this stuff but I’d rather get most of it in place before I go so there’s more supervising than doing required.
But wow, there’s a lot to do. And I’m excited but scared a little at the same time. I’ll be back at work everyday but The Boy will be more than likely contracting and networking like mad and looking for work. Living on one salary has been okay for now but my salary is going to be less than what The Boy is making at the moment, so it’s going to be tight. Doable but tight. Definitely budget requiring and sticking to it.
So please excuse me if I go a little silent over the next couple of weeks. As usual, I haven’t made this move exactly easy but hey, it’s happening so I’m not complaining. I’m just hoping that The Boy can follow me sooner rather than later but we’ll see what happens.
Thanks for crossing fingers and toes for me!
It’s been a while since I, well, moved. The Cold From Hell knocked my socks off last week and then the humidity here kept me knocked down. It’s exhausting. I even went to see Burlesque with Cher on Saturday just for the company and the air conditioning. It was blissfully cold in the cinema. Oh Hoyts, don’t you ever change!
But alas, the food and the lack of exercise have been mounting an attack and the result is fat. On my thighs, on my belly, on my hips and on my chest. I know there are girls out there who would love the extra sexy-fat on the chest, but alas, I am not one of them! I like my curves the way they are and no bigger. And I like my bras and refuse to buy bigger ones. New ones sure (I like pretty bras) but bigger ones? No way.
So today, despite the humidity and the exhaustion said humidity has wrought, I booked into a pilates class and went for it. I loved it. My abs shook with the exertion and I’m sure my glutes and quads are gonna ache. I’ve booked in for another class on Thursday (I like the instructor) and may even book in for a 3rd class on the weekend. Me and my fat, we’re not friends and I’d rather be friends with exercise again.
On the job front, I need everyone to cross fingers, toes, legs, arms, eyes etc! I interviewed for an awesome job last week and they called about my salary expectations today. They’ve been talking to my references and it all sounds very promising that an offer may actually be made. If said offer comes through, I will be saying yes and moving my every-expanding ass to Melbourne. The Boy will follow when he can – depends on work stuff and giving notice and whatnot. But I’ll be there in a month should said job become mine.
I’ve also promised myself a new bra (not bigger though) and a new top for my first day of work. This is my way of satisfying my current urge to BUY ALL THE THINGS with two smaller purchases. So, fingers and toes crossed people. Fingers AND toes!